I would love to tell you that it was strictly my intestinal fortitude that I relied on to get through these long days. In truth, I have come to rely heavily on a delicate balance of medications that help keep the disease symptoms in check.
I was painfully reminded of this fact when my company determined it was in their interest to change insurance providers for the first time since I started working there. I have only been diagnosed for 4 1/2 years, and I've been using this "magic cocktail" of meds pretty much since day one. So this change was going to rock my world.
New Insurance Company B decided that they would deny everything that Old Insurance Company A had approved. Suddenly, I am without all of my medications while my doctor petitions their approval. These medications would cost me several thousand dollars a month, so paying cash isn't even a possibility.
While I wait and pray for a quick resolution to this issue, I face a new kind of day - a day where mind-numbing fatigue greets me in the mirror as I brush my teeth, neuritis clouds my vision as I struggle to gather my thoughts at work, and weakness overtakes me as I drive home, making it hard to stay awake and alert. "Sleep" it seems to whisper. "Stop, slow down. You know you can't do it."
"It" being whatever task I am working on. "You're sick. It doesn't matter anyway."
I am in awe of the power of this fatigue. I am amazed that this was here all along behind the chemistry of a few pills.
So it's time to stop patting myself on the back and start getting real about this disease. I need more sleep, a healthier diet, and some balance in my schedule.
God willing, the pills will ultimately get approved, or they may have to be changed in order to satisfy some desk jockey trying to save the company money. I have a great doctor and he will work on what's best for me.
Sometimes God shakes up our lives and causes a little chaos when we aren't being attentive...
